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You recognize dysfunction and mismatches faster now than you did when you were younger.

But that doesn't mean you should be rigid and inflexible. Chat with a guy who isn't your "type" and stretch your boundaries.

Or you're miserable because there's no prospect on the horizon. Don't settle for anything less than chemistry, shared values/lifestyle/goals, trust, and a growing and abiding friendship.

And, if you haven't already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don't have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.

Check out sites such as that can help you find long-term relationships versus flings or hookups.

Especially at this stage of life, why would you want a relationship that doesn't bring you happiness?

I can think of something far worse than being single, gay and older. Dave Singleton works for AARP Publications and has written two books and numerous columns on dating and relationships.

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    But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!

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