Kids divorce parents dating
Give them cell phones so they can have a relationship with each parent that isn't mediated by the other. If your ex is destroying that relationship, there is nothing you can do about that.You'll be tempted, but you'll end up regretting it. This will feel like a death to them, and in fact it is: the death of their family. But if you undermine that relationship with negative comments about your ex, you are hurting your child. Even if your child can't tell you that, it will come out in their behavior. Your child needs you to be the stable, emotionally mature, resilient leader. Be aware that children need time with each parent more than ever during a divorce and be there to spend time with them.
The bad news is that avoiding these risks takes enormous maturity on the part of both parents.Never talk about each other in front the kids, even if they're across the room and you're on the phone with a friend. Never say anything in front of your kids, or on social media, that you don't want repeated to your ex. You're at a point where you have to do the hard work of learning to be your own parent. Make sure your child still feels connected to you when she is with the other parent by staying in touch via phone, skype, email, texting.Maintain appropriate boundaries with kids in your discussions, not just about your spouse, but about everything. Listen, and reflect back what you hear: “Sounds like you’re pretty mad at Mom and me that we’re getting divorced.” Let your child have his or her feelings, don’t try to argue.It's hard for any child to go back and forth from one home to another, and all kids will need extra support.What matters most, however, is that the child can express her distress about separation from the other parent and receive understanding from the parent she is with.