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Sometimes it will be obvious; she would love to visit New York City, guess what, you were there a few years ago, loved it, and want to go back. Though, you can select your best bits, share in her excitement, add one of your best relevant memories, and even encourage her imagination to wander (see secret 8).

Other times, it will be more subtle, and my take a little more work to dig it out. A connection is a connection, no matter how small - and it can lead to more things you share in common.

Fortunately, for us, there is a mechanism in the mind, which causes an incredible chain reaction - once you plant the seed. She will now fill in all the gaps to make you her dream date/lover - if she likes you.

Now, obviously, we need that seed to be positive, exciting, even sensual. Yes, her imagination will make you an exciting man of action and mystery; much better than the real you.

One of the biggest challenges is entering the room - the first impression - and it is massively important. OK, there is an imaginary string coming out the top of your head. You will feel your rib cage rising, stomach coming in, and spine straightening. Congratulations, you just grew 1-2 inches, and, look more commanding!

Many pre-judgements and decisions are already made in that moment. Don’t puff out your chest, or push your shoulders back to much - if it feels really uncomfortable, it probably looks that way too. Here’s the difficult part (for us men), keep breathing, ready - and add a smile. there may be a feeling of happiness and lightness when you do this.

If her question doesn’t come, then try to avoid the silence becoming uncomfortable. Notice, again, by remaining silent, she has invited you in, to take control of the date. So, it’s your job to ensure this beautiful person with you now, can have what she most desires ….. We are not asking random, or the usual contrived questions here; such as ‘What do you do? Here’s where you should prepare a little; we are looking for something to connect with, something to suggest we are compatible; and, luckily, time is short, so we only need one.

Now, subtly follow her lead (I said subtle, don’t just copy her).Check out the first three secrets, to stop you getting eliminated in the first few moments. This is as much about the posture as it is about the state of mind. This is about looking more relaxed in a room full of nervous, anxious singles. The thing I love about breathing and smiling, apart from relaxing me, is that it is infectious - yes, your potential date can feel it too.Some secrets will come instantly, but most, I suggest you practice a little beforehand. Fortunately, there is something we can do about it, and looking around the room there is a lot of guys slouching - already you stand out from the crowd (don’t worry, they are all checking you out! In this situation, it is common for us to hold our breath or breathe very shallow. Bring your attention to your belly-button, breath in and your stomach rises, breath out and it falls (like a baby! When you enter the room, avoid looking awkward, or like a lost child.Remember, every boring truth you reveal about yourself, is one less exciting aspect of the imaginary you!So, ‘shut-up’, and let her do the talking, unless she specifically asks. We are not known for that ’6th sense’ or even ’intuition’ (whatever they might be! Don’t worry, we are going to keep it to 2 simple steps.

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